So I think I'm just going to end this here. I was going to write a lengthy summation of my experience, but now I just don't feel like it. Instead I'm gonna sit here and listen to the new Mastodon album (it's pretty alright) and then finish up my laundry and run hell of errands.


Brother killed the buick, so now I drive my mom's old camry, not sure how I feel about that.


Anyway I need to catch up with American culture from the past 4.5 months or so. I have to start using dollars and decimals again, not to mention gas. Man Berlin is already starting to sound appealing again...


Anyway I guess this is the end of this blog, though certainly not my blogging. If anyone actually wants to keep up with me I've been on the aim since middle school, the skype since last year and the facebook since high school. look me up g!

Anyway, it was fun and this is the third paragraph I've started with Anyway. Geez



Auf Wiedersehen!

Kaum zu glauben.



I haven't really had a lot of time to reflect on leaving yet. It's still weird and it still doesn't feel good, but as my flight nears I find myself actually missing home, so going home doesn't seem so bad. I mean it'll be nice to speak English with strangers again and not feel bad about it.


Packing is going rather well, I think I have room for everything somewhere, which is good.


Anyway I'll write a much more detailed update when I get back to the states. It's weird to be reflecting on my time here in this entry without actually having completely my project of documenting my experiences here, but at the same time that's kind of what I need to do.

But what I really need to do is pack and say goodbye. I'm not done with this journal yet, we still have reentry to take care of, plus I've done a number of exciting things since the last post.

So in the words I chose to use with Hilde when she left for her friend's birthday on Thursday, It's not goodbye, just see you later.

My mind is anywhere but this paper. I should have started it days ago instead of going to sleep. But whatever, at least now my mind is somewhat clear. I just have to write about 5 pages really fast and then 2 more pages even faster (but at least that stuff is in English) and then turn it all in by Tuesday. Then I am free free free! Except for that I have to go to class on Thursday morning. Lame.



Still need to buy flowers for Hilde. Still need to go to a Biergarten. Still need to write and send postcards.



Still need to remember to turn in a bunch of stuff.


Still need to remember to pack.


Shit.


Shit.



Shit.



Hilde and I had a really awkward conversation about me leaving. I'm trying not to let it get to me so I can focus on my work, but it's not really working that well. I hope this paper get's finished and I hope I have time to relax and actually speak German well. It's been really hit or miss the last couple of days.

Just had a talk with Hilde about when I'm leaving (like what time in the morning) to see if she could give me a ride. It turns out she won't even be in town when I leave. Schade.

Had to say one of my first meaningful goodbyes today (well there was one before) and I can't say I liked it. Things are wrapping up here in a very real way. I pulled out some American money the other day so a friend could show some bills to some kids at her internship and I realized that pretty soon it will be my money again. The talk amongst our group has started to shift slightly back to America as people begin to move back and we attempt to maintain contact with one another. I'm even writing a giant research paper on Kant and Obama and America and the new Media and Yes We Can and then I remember I've missed a huge chunk of his first year as president.

I do miss America though, I really do. It's just that I've just started talking to people in my classes, having slightly more extended conversations, become a regular at various döner establishments. You know the drill.

While I'm writing this post the Byrds's "We'll Meet Again" is playing and it's really weird.



I'll come back, I know it. Somehow I'll get back here, when I'm young and still crazy.



This isn't goodbye yet though, I still have two weeks left. Granted I have to spend most of them writing, but still. I am going to enjoy the fuck out of those two weeks. Just you watch.


*edit* no matter how hilarious it gets, I don't think I'll miss the people screaming bloody murder outside my window at like 10 at night and till about 4 or 5 in the morning depending on when they get arrested or pass out.

So yesterday I went to a Karstadt because the selection is better and my friend Heidi told me it was cheaper than EDEKA (which turned out to be a lie) and I ran across a lager that claims to be the strongest lager in the world at 16% abv. It was also 10 euro for ,5 L so I didn't buy it, or anything else. I was too overwhelmed by the selection and I didn't have a game plan for how to deal with it.

Ugh so much going on in Berlin this weekend, here's a quick run down:

Christopher Street (Day?) pride parade, where all the cities gays and lesbians converge on Kudamm and have a dance party to end all dance parties ending up in Tiergarten

Bergmannstraßenfest: Very decent Jazz festival in Kreuzberg. Free acts all day plus they bring in semi-famous people (like some guy from ELO).

48 Stunden Neukölln: Finally something happening in my neighborhood! As soon as I finish reading this article and make lunch I'll head out to check the more artistic aspects of my neighborhood (I mean beyond people getting really drunk, smashing bottles and yelling Abbreche (Abortion) at 4 in the morning).

Plus later a bunch of people are going to explore an abandoned amusement park, Spreepark, in Treptower Park.


Monday I have to start writing and researching like a madman.

I don't like to think about this but...

in less than a month I will no longer be able to get döner whenever I want.
I will not be able to speak German with whomever I please
I won't be able to go wherever I want just by getting on a train and being patient
I will no longer be able to enjoy free Jazz on Wednesday nights (not that I do that regularly)
I will no longer be able to live in an apartment that is probably older than my parents.

I don't really want this to end, but I guess it has to sometime. America has a lot of stuff going for it to be sure, but I just really feel comfortable here. I'm getting to the point where I have enough confidence to talk about anything I want in German. I dunno, sometimes I don't feel like I took the full advantage of the German experience. I mean the rest of IES just got drunk a bunch which isn't really an authentic experience you know?


I think I'll miss Hilde the most, she's been the sweetest most understanding host I could have ever dreamed of.

On the other hand I really do miss my American friends and obviously my family.