Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dear Germany,
I'm not normally one to judge appearances, but orange is not a skin color. All too often I see women with jet black hair and robustly orange skin. This is worrisome to me because I am concerned about your health, cancer is all too pervasive in the fake tan game. I'm also worried that someone may have told you it was ok to go out in public looking orange and on behalf of whoever that was I would like to apologize whole-heartedly; you were the victim of a cruel joke that has gone on for so long the people who told it no longer remember the punchline. It is with the upmost conern that I beg of you to return to your normal skin-tone and learn to live with your natural pigmentation.
-John

PS

To the turkish Guy wearing the glittery NPA (National Porn Association) shirt on the U-Bahn and looking really proud of it.

You are very classy, I just wanted you to know that.

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